UNITED CHURCH OF CHRIST in SIMI VALLEY
First Sunday After Christmas - December 29, 2002
New Year's Sunday
Anne G. Cohen

Luke 2:22-40

For Our Reflection:
God has for no[one] a fixed and final destiny in the sense of either an inexorable fate or an assured security...
There is nothing is all creation that can separate us from God and [God's] loving care.
- Georgia Harkness, The Providence of God (1960)

What its children become, that will the community become.
- Suzanne LaFollette, American journalist, suffragist (1893-1983)

Destiny's Child

Two Jewish women were chatting one afternoon, sharing and comparing family troubles.  One woman said, "You know, I sent my son to Israel last year so that he would learn from the best how to be a good Jewish man. Believe it or not, he came back a Christian!" The second woman said, "Funny you should mention that.  I sent MY son to Israel last year so that he would learn from the best how to be a good Jewish man.  And HE came back a Christian!" The two women decided to consult their rabbi about this mystery and told her the story. The rabbi said, "Funny you should mention that.  I sent MY son to Israel so that he would learn from the best how to be a good Jewish man.  And HE came back a Christian!" The three women shook their heads, tears rolling down their faces, each one telling God in their heart their troubling story.  In the midst of their grief, a voice came from above saying, 'Funny you should mention that..." - Internet (retold)

Yes, this is a really bad joke with faulty theology, not to mention sociology. But it is a fun way to broach the subject of parenthood. Parents, I've discovered, WANT things for their children. Most parents will say, "I just want my child to be happy."  But most parents want more than that.

I have observed that parents want their children to have ENOUGH so that the children will not experience deprivation.  They begin by talking about enough food, shelter, clothing, health care.  This often extends to the RIGHT KIND of food, shelter, clothing, sports equipment, games, etc. so that, in comparison to other people's kids, their own child won't feel cheated or left out or deprived.  The occasional parent will help their child compare themselves to less fortunate kids so that they will feel the blessing and weight of privilege.  But, as far as I know, no parent wishes poverty for their child.

I have discovered that parents also have aspirations FOR their children - a desire to make possible the best available education, moral and ethical upbringing, access to learning experiences and mentors, entryways into their chosen professions.  Many parents would choose the profession FOR the child if they could - doctor, lawyer, CEO, Olympic or professional athlete... something lucrative and socially admired.

Other parents have been known to want their children to do something noble, self-sacrificial - pushing them toward social work or politics :-) - proud of the idea of a Red Cross administrator or teacher or rabbi or nun or minister in the family.  Some parents, with whom I've had intimate experience (who shall remain nameless), were hoping their children would bring home spouses of another race or of the same gender - so that the world would be transformed by counter-cultural, Judeo-Christian ethics of the heart.  But these parents would have been the exception to the rule in parenthood, I suppose.

Some parents believe that their children have a destiny  - and some parents claim to know what that destiny is before it unfolds. And some well-meaning parents shift their own lost hopes for themselves onto their children - hoping to succeed through them.

Mary and Joseph, parents for the first time, were no different from MOST practicing Jewish parents of their time and culture  As instructed by Genesis 17:12-14, they brought their son in to the temple for circumcision on the eighth day of his life.

Throughout your generations every male among you shall be circumcised when he is eight days old... So shall my covenant be in your flesh an everlasting covenant... Any uncircumcised male... shall be cut off from his people. (NRSV)

The last thing Joseph and Mary wanted for their child was to be cut off from the community or from God.  So they had him circumcised.

And, as instructed by Exodus 13:2, they gave their first born to God - who laid claim to all first-born males in exchange for the slaughter of first-borns in Egypt.

Consecrate to me all the first born; whatever is the first to open the womb among the Israelites, of human beings and animals, is mine.

Whether or not Mary and Joseph intended to actually tithe their first-born to God and expected him to join the rabbinate is unknown.  But it is clear from this story that they wanted to do everything RIGHT for their child.

Two people end up at the Temple for the consecration.  These two people expect great things from this particular child.  Old Uncle Simeon and very old Aunt Hannah - are introduced into the story with their credentials as wise prophets - and their words are inscribed for posterity.  At one point, old Simeon says to Mary on the QT, "This child is destined for the falling and rising of many in Israel..." (v.34 NRSV) Jesus was destined - a child with a destiny open for interpretation - DESTINY'S CHILD.

The problem for us is that the Gospels were written down too late to be prophetic documents.  The words of Simeon and Hannah were recorded after the fact... in retrospect... as so many prophecies are.  But the truth of the story lies in the fact that parents and prophets, adults in general, do tend to pin their cherished hopes for themselves and the world onto their children.  If we listened to parents regularly enough we would KNOW that every child, in some way, is destined for greatness (much like anyone who remembers a past life remembers that they were someone famous or brave).  Have you ever heard someone say, "These children are the future of the church!"?  We DO invest a great amount of hope in our children - for all kinds of reasons.  There is nothing wrong with this.

However, our primary task as adults - parents or extended family - is NOT TO IMPOSE our vision FOR them ONTO them.  It is our primary task to pay close attention to the TRUE DESTINY that is unfolding within each child - unseen by most of us who aren't even looking.

Much as my mother plants things in our garden and watches to see what comes up, nurturing with placement and water, fertilizer and weeding, bug slaughter and pet deterrents - much like gardener mothers - we have an opportunity to nurture children and to witness the unfolding of their unique AUTHENTIC selves.  In this way - not only our first-borns - but ALL of our children (internal and external) are consecrated to God.

It is a spiritual practice to see children as they ARE, rather than read into them our own longings, fears, hopes and opinions - just as it is a spiritual practice to search for our OWN authentic self beyond the longings, fears, hopes and opinions of our parents. 

Fred and Mary Ann Brussat in their wondrous book SPIRITUAL LITERACY have this to say about the world and all that is in it - including children: ...We read the world for what it teaches us about Spirit ...We read the world to see what it can show us about the meaningful life... [And} we read the world for what it is.  Not as a symbol; not as a teaching; not as a mirror; simply for what it is.  This involves a basic respect for the intrinsic value of everything apart from its utility to us [including our children!].  It also acknowledges that no matter how honed our reading skills are, there are some things we cannot possess with our reason or envision in our imagination.  There are mysteries in life that reflect the Great Mystery. (p.39)

I believe that Joseph and Mary did see the Great Mystery reflected in their newborn son - not just in retrospect.  And, if they were worth their salt, they helped Jesus to see that Mystery within himself - before it caught up to him in adulthood and sent him into therapy.

A little girl was standing with her grandfather by an old-fashioned open well.  They had just lowered a bucket to draw some water to drink. "Grandfather," asked the little girl, "where does God live?" The old man picked up the little girl and held her [far enough] over the open well [to see the water].  "Look down into the water," he said, "and tell me what you see."  "I see myself," said the little girl. "That's where God lives," said the old man.  "[God] lives in you."  (P.38 Brussat, Mark Link, Challenge)